大学英语作文是衡量学生英语综合水平和应用能力的一个重要指标,也是大学四级考试的一个重要内容。在整个四级卷面(满分为100分)中占15分,考生在这一部分的得分直接决定其四级成绩。近年来国家教委又明确规定,四级考试中,如果学生作文得零分,那么即使前面得了满分(即85分),其总成绩仍将视为不及格。因此写好一篇文章对参加四级考试的学生来说可谓至关重要,不容轻视。
作文不理想的原因很多,总的看来主要有以下几个方面的问题:
第一、英语底子太薄。主要表现为对语法知识掌握不牢及对基本词汇记忆不清。它包括定冠词和不定冠词的滥用,主谓不一致,单复数搞不清楚,时态和语态混乱及词语的各种形式掌握不牢。有的学生文章写得很长,字迹也很工整,但是读完之后只觉得思路紊乱,支离破碎,没有一个完整的句子,所以也就只能得两三分以慰劳苦。
第二、词汇量太小,且对已学词汇记忆不清。除了底子太薄这个历史原因之外,学生词汇量太小也是一个不容忽视的原因。有的学生汉语功底很好,用汉语作文,他们就会思如泉涌,下笔千言,但是一到用英语作文就好像被缚住了手脚,不知如何下手。比如99年1月的作文,题目是"Don't Hesitate to Say No",
大部分学生能够领会题意并能按给出的汉语提纲作文,但有的学生连Hesitate是什么意思都不知道,更不用说在此基础上再作发挥了。另外有的学生虽然对题目及要求非常清楚,但是因为自己所掌握的词汇所限,无法用一些合适的词来表达自己的思想,于是只有绕着题目翻来覆去乱说一气,再加上这次出的作文提纲就象一道绕口令:
1、 别人请求帮助时,在什么情况下我们会说“不”;
2、 为什么有些人在该说“不”的时候不说“不”;
3、 该说“不”时不说“不”的坏处。
所以在说过一个又一个的"No"再加几个"Yes"之后,阅卷老师也给搞得云里雾里,头脑发胀,最后也只得酌情给个两三分罢了。还有的一写到纸上就是错字别字满篇,有些词汇的用法也走了样。其中最典型的就是for example写成example for , for instance写成for a instance, illegal 写成unlegle, 而such as, in spite of 等许多短语则是乱用一气。词汇的有限导致许多学生有口难言,欲说不能,对他们来说,用英语作文实在是一件很头疼的事情。
第三、缺乏思想,深度不够。99年1月的考试中很大一部分学生不能得高分还有一个重要的原因,就是他们的作文缺乏思想,深度不够。很多学生虽然已是大二的学生,甚至是大三大四的学生,但是他们在作文当中所表现出的智力水平与阅历似乎只相当于一个初高中生。写出的文章着眼点低,视野狭窄。作为学生,作文着眼于学生之间的关系,反映学生之间的帮忙,这并不为过,但是这种帮忙不能仅仅限于在考试当中的帮忙,而且对这种帮忙都是一句话 "Don't hesitate to say 'No'"。更有相当一部分学生在文章中写帮忙就是这一次四级考试当中的帮忙。与在校考生比较起来,社会考生应该多了许多社会阅历,也多了一些见解,但是举出来的例子也是范围太窄,大多是讲老板或领导让干的事只能答 "Yes"而不能回答 "No"。其实除了这些,可举的例子很多,关键是要抓住实质。
第四、缺乏应试技巧。缺乏应试技巧,主要表现为有些学生在篇首或篇尾有喊口号倾向(如Dear Friends, let's not hesitate to say"No"),或画蛇添足,本来文章该结束了却偏要罗罗嗦嗦再来两句多余的话;另外一些学生字数把握不准,不是写得太短就是写得太长,写得太短的会因为字数不够而失分,太长的又因为阅卷老师任务繁重,时间窘迫,不能因为一篇文章乱了整个阅卷节奏。还有一些学生的笔迹(尤其是用纯蓝墨水钢笔和出水太浅的圆珠笔写的),让阅卷老师怎么也看不清楚。
以上是四级英语考试中常见的几个问题,更是我们平时英语作文当中应该注意的几个方面。要写好一篇英语文章,关键要在平时下功夫,打好牢固的基础,但是如果这一功夫在使用的时候不讲技巧,不但不能事半功倍地发挥出最高技巧,取得最佳成绩,甚至可能出现与实际水平相去甚远的低成绩。因此,上面讲到的四个问题应该是相辅相成,缺一不可的,做到了这几点,写出一篇好的大学英语四级作文应该是不难的。
第二讲句子的写作
我们在前面曾提过学生的作文主要有以下几个方面的问题;下面我们以考生的实际作文来进行一下分析。
1)Some one consider that fresh water will not touch it's end.
2) One man's life lack of money, he will impossible to live on.
3) As is know, that there are much fake commodities in today's society.
这里引述的例句与考生通篇作文的写作水平是一致的,具有典型性,代表了近乎中等水平考生的写作水平。从这些例句中不难看出,中等水平的考生,事实上也包括中上等水平的考生,在写作上存在的主要问题是表达思想不清楚。
表达思想不清楚的主要原因是考生作文中严重汉化的英语,即中式英语,比如: "man can live happiness", "Man is iron, and food is steel.", "Women are half side sky."。 此外,语言错误的普遍性和严重性十分惊人,比如,主谓不一致,名词单复数不分,动词时态语态滥用,常用词拼写错误比比皆是。这些严重地影响了思想的表达。考试实践表明,多数考生在写作上的主要欠缺不是系统的写作理论和方法,而是最基本的单句写作能力。
文章无论长短,都是由句子组成的,句子是表达思想的最基本的单位。因此,句子是否能写得正确、达意和清楚,将直接影响整篇文章的写作质量。大学英语四、六级考试和研究生入学英语考试的实践都表明,考生写作成绩长期得不到明显提高的主要原因是欠缺写好单句的能力。为改变这种状况,我们将从剖析考生作文中的典型病句入手,对写作测试中的基本句子结构和写法进行评议和分析,来帮助考生进一步提高句子写作能力。
一、 "There be"结构
考生病句:
1. There are many people like to go to the movies.
2. There are different kinds of vegetables can be bought on the market by people.
正确表达:
1. There are many people who like to go to the movies.
2. There are different kinds of vegetables that people can buy on the market.
这两个例句的错误比较有普遍性,因为在历次考试中有不少考生不能正确运用there be这一最常用的句式。在这种结构中,there是引导词,没有实际意义。be在句中作谓语,有时态和数的变化。例如:
1. There was no school in the village at that time. (=there was not a school...)
注意:在否定句中,否定词用no,也可用not a或not any。not a后接单数名词,not many后接复数名词,no后面的名词单复数都可以。
2. There is not a moment to be lost.
3. There are many people rushing into the cities every year.
4. There are many things we can do to prevent traffic accidents.
5. There is no use holding back the wheel of history.
从以上例句还可看出,句中的主语后面可接多种修饰语,如介词短语、不定式短语、定语从句、分词短语等等。这无疑使该结构增加了表现力,使句子表达内容更加丰富。 在运用这一结构时,考生最容易犯的错误是在there be之后又用了一个动词作谓语,使句子结构出现严重错误。这里列举的考生的典型错误均属这种情况,对此我们在写作中要格外注意。
二、 比较结构
考生病句:
1. Comparing with the bike, the car runs much faster.
2. The climate in Walton is colder than other cities.
正确表达:
1. Compared with the bike, the car runs much faster.
2. The climate in Walton is colder than that of other cities.
评议与分析:许多考生在作文中用compare或than表示比较,但相当多的表达有误。
在例1中,对两个事物进行比较的句式为Compared with A, B...,只能用compare的过去分词,不能用现在分词,因为B是分词的逻辑主语,只能被比较。
在例2中,考生误将"天气"与"城市"进行比较,而二者没有可比性,只有将后者改为"其他城市的天气"才符合逻辑,很显然,考生的错误是受了汉语表达习惯的影响。
比较结构是常用结构,正确地使用这一结构可以使文章的句式增加变化,有利于提高写作成绩。一般说来,考生若能恰当、正确地运用这一结构,其写作成绩应在5分以上。
下面是比较结构的一些常用的表达方法。
1. 同级比较
1) In 1998 we produced as many cars as we did in the previous five years.
2) We have accomplished as much in the past three years as would have taken ten years in the past.
2. 比较级
1) Children now enjoy better medical treatment than before.
2) We can live longer without food than we can (live )without water.
3. 最高级
1) This is the most interesting book I've ever read.
2) Of all his novels I like this one best.
4. the more…the more…结构
1) The harder you work, the greater progress you will make.
2) The more a man knows, the more he discovers his ignorance.
5. 选择比较
1) I prefer staying at home to going out.
2) They prefer to work rather than (to) sit idly.
3) He prefers to work alone.
注意:这里的1)句用的是Prefer A to B结构,to为介词,后接名词或动名词;2)句是以不定式作prefer的宾语;3)句用法同2),只是不把rather than部分表达出来。
6. 对比
1) Motion is absolute while stagnation is relative.
2) He is tired out, whereas she is full of vigor.
注意:while 和whereas均可用于连接两个意义对立的分句,相当于汉语的"而"字。许多考生能较好地运用这一句式,尤其在图表作文中。
三、 表达原因的结构
考生病句:
1. The real reason to our failure is not far to seek.
2. The reason for this is because some people want to earn plenty of money without working hard.
正确表达:
1. The real reason for our failure is not far to seek.
2. The reason for this is that some people want to earn plenty of money without working hard.
评议与分析:
从遣词造句上看,这两位考生具有一定的写作能力,not far to seek, plenty of money以及without working hard等均运用正确、恰当。但令人遗憾的是,第一位考生不知道reason不与to搭配而应接介词for,第二位考生犯了一个中国学生常犯的错误,就是用because引起表语从句,because这个词不能引起表语从句,在本句中只能改用that才正确。掌握好表达原因的结构是十分重要的,几乎所有的写作试题都要求写原因或可以写原因。在大学英语四、六级考试、研究生入学英语考试以及TOEFL考试中,写作的文体基本上是议论文,而议论文的基本模式是摆事实、讲道理,讲道理就是说明原因。写作测试的文体决定了表达原因结构的重要性。
英语中用来表达原因这一概念的结构有多种。我们可用as , because, since, seeing that, considering that, now that, not that...等词组引出表示原因的从句。例如:
1. Now that we have seen these great achievements with our own eyes, we feel more proud than ever of our country.
2. Professor Liu is strict with us because he wants us to make rapid progress.
3. Since we live near the sea, we enjoy a healthy climate.
4. Pollution is still a serious problem, not that we don't have the ability to solve it, but that some people have not realized the consequences of the problem.
我们还可以借助某些词语用简单句表达原因结构。例如:
1. The reason for this change is quite obvious.
2. Diligence is the key factor of success.
3. Idleness is the root of all evils.
4. He was ashamed to have made the mistake.
(=He was ashamed that he had made the mistake.
=He was ashamed because he had made the mistake.)
除了上述的例句外,英语中还有很多或易或难的表达原因的结构。我们在进行写作训练的时候,不能满足于一知半解,要讲究书面语言的正确性和准确性。比如,because是最常用的引导原因从句的连词,语气最强,表示直接的原因,若because置于句首,后面的主句不能再用so。用as引导的原因从句语气较弱,所说明的原因是附带的,而since表示的原因暗示着是稍加分析之后才能推断出来的原因。
四、 否定结构
考生病句
1. Some people think we needn't to worry about fresh water.
2. Nowadays many people don't like to go to the movies, too.
正确表达:
1. Some people think we needn't worry (或don't need to worry) about fresh water.
2. Nowadays many people don't like to go to the movies, either.
评议与分析:
例句1 的错误在于该考生混淆了need作为情态动词和作为普通动词的用法。need作为情态动词时,主要用于否定句,后面的动词不带to, needn't worry,作we的谓语。need作为实意动词时,可用于肯定句、否定句和疑问句,don't need to worry 中的to worry作don't need的宾语。
例句2的错误在于该考生混淆了too和either的区别,这两个词都表示"也"的意思,但是在英语中too, also只能用于肯定句,而either只能用于否定句。
否定结构除了在助动词、情态动词,be和have后面加not之外,还有许多不含not的否定结构。
I. 含有否定意义的词汇和短语 以下列举的词和词组本身就具有否定的含义,因此无需用否定词。介词against, beyond, but, except, without,...形容词和动词absent, deny, differ, different, fail, free, ignore, miss, refuse, the last, used to, reluctant, lack, want,...短语keep...from, protect...from, prevent...from, let alone, at a loss, in vain, instead of, out of the question, rather than, too...to, by no means, anything but,... 例句:
1) Women fail to get the equal rights in some countries.
在一些国家里妇女没有得到平等的权利。
2) This is by no means the best way to solve the problem of energy crisis.
这不是解决能源危机的最好的办法。
3) We should protect trees from being destroyed.
我们应保护树木,不让它们受破坏。
4) In old China we could not make a nail, let alone(make) machines.
在旧中国,我们连一个钉子都造不了,更不用说制造机器了。
II. 含有半否定意义的词语barely, hardly, few, little, rarely, scarcely, seldom, not all, not everyone, not everything,...具有半否定的意义。例句:
1) We could hardly see any fresh vegetables in winter on market several years ago.
几年前在冬天市场上很难见到新鲜蔬菜。
2) These young people know little about how to choose good books to read.
这些年轻人几乎不知道如何挑选优秀的书籍来读。
III. 不含否定意义的否定结构有些词和词组形式上是否定结构,但其含义是肯定的,比如:cannot but, can't help, no sooner...than, not...until, in no time, none other than, nothing but,等等。例句:
1) We can't but face the reality. 我们只有面对现实。
2) These old buildings will be replaced by modern apartment buildings in no time.
这些旧建筑将很快为现代化的公寓所代替。
IN. 否定结构的倒装语序. 我们有时为了强调而把否定词和词组放在句首,这时句子结构应倒装。例如:
1) On no account should we follow blindly.我们决不应当盲从。
2) No where has the world ever seen such great enthusiasm for learning as in our country.没有任何其他地方有我国这样高的学习热情。
五、 含有it的结构
考生病句:
1. As is known to all of us that science and technology play an important role in the development of society.
2. It is known to us, practice makes perfect.
正确表达:
1. It is known to all of us that science and technology play an important role in the development of society. (或:As is known to all of us, science...)
2. It is known to us that practice makes perfect. (或:As is known to us, practice...)
评议与分析:
很显然,两个考生混淆了it和as的用法。如果用it作形式主语,后面的主语从句必须由that引起;如果用as,则后面不能用that,因为as是关系代词,代表practice makes perfect。It 在英语中是个相当活跃的代词,在写作中我们常要使用它。以下几种用法应熟练掌握,并能灵活运用。
1.作形式主语
It is necessary for us to master a foreign language skillfully. It makes difference whether we could purify the air or not.
2.作形式宾语
We find it rather difficult to prevent people from doing that. Modern science has made it possible for babies to grow healthily and for people to live longer.
3.引导强调句
It is only by this way that we can achieve success. It was then that people began to realize the importance of controlling population.
从语法结构来看,上述的句子都不难,或者可以说是考生相当熟悉的。然而在写作考试中,多数考生缺乏运用自己已掌握的句式的意识,而以自己头脑中拼凑的中式英语取而代之。其实,只要能恰当地运用上述的任何一个句式,考生的作文就会出现闪光点,就会取得比较好的成绩。
英语写作常见错误与分析
下面我们对一些在英语写作中典型的病句实例逐一加以剖析.
一. 不一致(Disagreements)
所谓不一致不光指主谓不一致,它还包括了数的不一致,时态不一致及代词不一致等.
病句: When one have money, he can do what he want to.
剖析:one是单数第三人称,因而本句的have应改为has ;同理,want应改为wants.本句是典型的主谓不一致.
改为:Once one has money, he can do what he wants (to do)
二. 修饰语错位(Misplaced Modifiers)
英语与汉语不同,同一个修饰语置于句子不同的位置,句子的含义可能引起变化.对于这一点中国学生往往没有引起足够的重视,因而造成了不必要的误解.
病句:I believe I can do it well and I will better know the world outside the campus.
剖析:better位置不当,应置于句末.
三. 句子不完整(Sentence Fragments)
在口语中,交际双方可借助手势语气上下文等,不完整的句子完全可以被理解.可是书面语就不同了,句子结构不完整会令意思表达不清,这种情况常常发生在主句写完以后,笔者又想加些补充说明时发生.
病句:There are many ways to know the society. For example by TV ,radio ,newspaper and so on .
剖析:本句后半部分"for example by TV ,radio ,newspaper and so on .”不是一个完整的句子,仅为一些不连贯的词语,不能独立成句.
改为:There are many ways to know society ,for example ,by TV ,radio ,and newspaper.
四. 悬垂修饰语(Dangling Modifiers)
所谓悬垂修饰语是指句首的短语与后面句子的逻辑关系混乱不清.
病句: At the age of ten, my grandfather died.
这句中"at the age of ten"只点出十岁时,但没有说明” 谁”十岁时.按一般推理不可能是my grandfather, 如果我们把这个悬垂修饰语改明确一点,全句就不那么费解了.
改为:When I was ten, my grandfather died.
病句:To do well in college, good grades are essential.
剖析:句中不定式短语 “to do well in college” 的逻辑主语不清楚.
改为:To do well in college, a student needs good grades.
五. 词性误用(Misuse of Parts of Speech)
“词性误用”常表现为:介词当动词用;形容词当副词用;名词当动词用等.
病句:None can negative the importance of money.
剖析:negative 系形容词,误作动词。
改为:None can deny the importance of money.
六. 指代不清(Ambiguous Reference of Pronouns)
指代不清主要讲的是代词与被指代的人或物关系不清,或者先后所用的代词不一致。 Mary was friendly to my sister because she wanted her to be her bridesmaid.
(玛丽和我姐姐很要好,因为她要她做她的伴娘。)
读完上面这一句话,读者无法明确地判断两位姑娘中谁将结婚,谁将当伴娘。如果我们把易于引起误解的代词的所指对象加以明确,意思就一目了然了。这个句子可改为:
Mary was friendly to my sister because she wanted my sister to be her bridesmaid.
And we can also know the society by serving it yourself.
剖析:句中人称代词we 和反身代词yourself指代不一致。
改为:We can also know society by serving it ourselves.
七. 不间断句子(Run-on Sentences)
什么叫run-on sentence? 请看下面的例句。
病句: There are many ways we get to know the outside world.
剖析:这个句子包含了两层完整的意思:“There are many ways.” 以及“We get to know the outside world.”。简单地把它们连在一起就不妥当了。
改为:There are many ways for us to learn about the outside world. 或:
There are many ways through which we can become acquainted with the outside world
八. 措词毛病(Troubles in Diction)
Diction 是指在特定的句子中如何适当地选用词语的问题,囿于教学时间紧迫,教师平时在这方面花的时间往往极其有限,影响了学生在写作中没有养成良好的推敲,斟酌的习惯。他们往往随心所欲,拿来就用。所以作文中用词不当的错误比比皆是。
病句:The increasing use of chemical obstacles in agriculture also makespollution.(农业方面化学物质使用的不断增加也造成了污染。)
剖析:显然,考生把obstacles“障碍”,“障碍物”误作substance“物质”了。另外“the increasing use (不断增加的使用)”应改为“abusive use (滥用)”。
改为:The abusive use of chemical substances in agriculture also causes/leadsto pollution.
九. 累赘(Redundancy)
言以简洁为贵。写句子没有一个多余的词;写段落没有一个无必要的句子。能用单词的不用词组;能用词组的不用从句或句子。
病句:In spite of the fact that he is lazy, I like him.
本句的“the fact that he is lazy”系同谓语从句,我们按照上述“能用词组的不用从句”可以改为:In spite ofhis laziness, I like him.
病句: For the people who are diligent and kind, money is just the thingto be used to buy the thing they need.
剖析:整个句子可以大大简化。
改为:Diligent, caring people use money only to buy what they need.
十. 不连贯(Incoherence)
不连贯是指一个句子前言不对后语,或是结构上不畅通。这也是考生常犯的毛病。
病句: The fresh water, it is the most important things of the earth.
剖析:The fresh water 与逗号后的it 不连贯。It 与things 在数方面不一致。
改为:Fresh water is the most important thing in the world.
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